Exactly a week ago, I posted about my PTSD. Well, what caused my PTSD, to be more specific.
I had no idea that today was #WorldMentalHealthDay until I saw someone post about it on Facebook and seeing one of my favorite authors post a very relevant video about being a writer with mental health issues.
While commuting just now, I tweeted because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to write this post with the homework I have left to do today.
But I wanted to write about it more. Like I said in my tweet, I have 3 diagnoses: PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I won’t rehash what I said in the tweet again, but ironically, I discovered I had these diagnoses in reverse order of how much they affect me.
My PTSD has been coming out in full force over the last two weeks, and that has been very tough. The timing definitely hasn’t been ideal with bigger school assignments coming faster as midterm season is here (what?). Last Monday when I was triggered by someone on the street, and then my first class of the day was talking about PTSD in the literature we’d been reading.
This morning had me having the same awful nightmare I’d had once before. When I first realized I had PTSD, I was asked if I was having nightmares. I was able to answer, “No,” back then. Obviously, that has changed. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by that fact.
As someone who has always “known” that mental health was not something to be ashamed of, I was still very ignorant and then ashamed of my own. I didn’t know how to tell anyone besides my mom. And even then, it was always “I think I’m [blank].” At my first two colleges, they always mentioned the mental health services, but it was clear there was a stigma about going. At my current school, they mention the mental health center, are genuine when they do, and people actually go. Which, even though I already have a therapist, is very helpful for me to know that mental health is not kept silent in my school.
What I’m trying to say is that mental health needs to be spoken about. And the stigma needs to go away. Because it’s hard enough for the people who have something going on, and then being judged for either “not doing anything” or getting treatment that actually helps. Talk about a being caught between a rock and a hard place.
But things can better. We just need to keep talking about it.
Read a longer take on my #WorldMentalHealthDay experience
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